Mistakes couples make with the money for their wedding gifts

Making a wish list of must-have items for your registry can be an exciting part of the wedding planning process, but it also takes time out of your already busy schedule. Plus, since spouses-to-be typically register to purchase household items for their newlywed home, if you and your partner already live together, you probably won’t find much use for another coffee maker or an extra blanket. Instead, you two might simply prefer your guests to give you money, so you can save up for a future investment or spend it on a shared experience.

Enter: cash funds for the wedding. These online registries give you the ability to request money instead of traditional gifts by creating multiple funds, such as a honeymoon fund, a first home fund, a date night fund, or even an individual fund too tired to cook. for guests to contribute, according to Kate Moncada, founder of Golden Hour Planning. Instead of requiring each attendee to spend a certain amount of money, cash funds give loved ones the autonomy to choose an amount they feel comfortable spending based on their budget. If this online route doesn’t seem like a good fit for you, you can also submit a request for checks or a wad of cash on your wedding website and ask your friends and family to spread the word.

Once guests have made their monetary contributions, you may think you’re free to spend the financial gift whenever and however you want. However, there are some mistakes that newlyweds tend to make with the money they receive as gifts, which can have consequences, from getting you into financial trouble to causing an argument with your spouse.

Wondering how to spend your wedding gift money in a productive and financially responsible way? Avoid these eight mistakes, according to three professional wedding planners.

Do not discuss the intention of your cash fund

Asking guests for money or creating a cash fund without consulting your partner about its purpose is a mistake that Jacquelyn Aleece, owner and founder of The Wedding Plan & Company, often makes. If you don’t have this initial conversation, you and your partner may have completely different uses for the money, which can lead to conflict between the two of you once you start spending it.

Instead of waiting until after the wedding, Aleece emphasizes the importance of discussing how you will use the gifted money before celebrating your nuptials. “You must agree before asking guests for cash,” the planner notes. This conversation will not only avoid a brief argument, but it will also contribute to the longevity of her marriage by setting the tone for how she handles finances.

Neglecting Thank You Notes

Forgetting to send a thank you note to those who contributed to your cash fund is a big mistake that can come across as ungrateful or even greedy. Although these contributors aren’t buying a tangible gift, they are setting aside money to support you and invest in your married lives, so they deserve the same recognition as anyone who buys a gift from a traditional registry.

In thank you cards, Moncada recommends that the message be as personal as possible, for example, “Thank you for bringing us one step closer to buying our first home” or “Thank you for making our dream honeymoon possible.” Expressing gratitude for money without a meaningful message won’t have the same effect.

Forgetting to write down the names of those giving the gifts

To send a proper thank you card to each contributor, you’ll need to write down their names, according to Moncada. Failing to do so will result in a stressful and messy experience trying to track down which people gifted you money or, worse, skipping thank you notes altogether.

If you’re using a cash-only fund for the wedding and don’t have a guest list, you won’t have to worry about collecting the right names — you’ll be expressing your gratitude to the entire guest list. But if you gave your party the option to purchase something from the guest list or donate to your fund online or send you a check or cash, you’ll need to take note of their names.

Overlooking the importance of setting a budget

If you and your partner haven’t set a realistic budget for your wedding gift money, you’ll likely end up wasting all your money on meaningless purchases until you run out of money. “Impulsive spending or a lack of financial planning can lead to missing out on opportunities to make meaningful investments,” says Jung Lee, director and co-founder of Fête.

To prevent this unfortunate situation from occurring, Lee recommends setting a budget that outlines how your wedding gift money will be distributed, such as allocating a specific portion toward travel, home decorating, shared hobbies, and future savings. “Having a clear plan ensures that money is spent intentionally and on things that matter to both partners,” Lee says.

Using Cash Gifts to Offset Wedding Splurges

Some couples only ask for money as a preferred wedding gift to make up for extravagant, big-budget purchases they made for their nuptials but couldn’t afford. According to Allece, viewing cash or checks as a way to alleviate debt is a dangerous mindset to adopt. “Never, ever choose your wedding budget and spend money on a wedding because you think you’ll ‘make the money back’ with cash gifts,” Aleece emphasizes.

Instead, host a celebration with a price that is reasonable and realistic for you, and spend your wedding gift money on thoughtful purchases or future investments, like a couple’s getaway or a down payment on your first home.

Waiting too long to cash checks

After the big day, stashing wedding gift checks on the nightstand or leaving the money in the cash fund are behaviors to avoid, according to Moncada. With checks, if you delay cashing them, they can expire. And with a gift registry, you may forget about your financial gift if you don’t withdraw the funds right away.

However, whether you’ve requested money through your wedding website or an online fund, waiting too long to put it into a checking or savings account is a missed opportunity. “Make sure you withdraw the money immediately, so the money can start earning interest,” Moncada suggests. “It’s the gift that keeps on giving.”

Spend money on everyday essentials

The money you receive for your wedding is a gift, so you should treat it as such. Spending monetary gifts from your friends and family on everyday expenses like rent, groceries, or bills may seem like a practical and fiscally responsible move, but you’ll eventually find that you’ve spent it all, little by little, on nothing. significant, according to Lee.

Instead of adding all of your wedding gift money to your checking account, where you’ll likely spend it on daily essentials, Lee advises creating a separate bank account with a designated amount to spend on a memorable keepsake. “This can be a once-in-a-lifetime honeymoon experience, a meaningful home décor item, or a lasting asset, like a piece of art or custom furniture,” she says. It’s fine to use some of your wedding gift money on everyday expenses, as long as there’s some left over for tangible reminders of your nuptials or other meaningful investments.

Not investing in lasting memories

While spending all your money on everyday costs is a likely problem, it’s equally common to spend cash on short-lived pieces or experiences with no sentimental value, according to Lee. “Consumables or fashion items may not provide long-term joy or memories,” she notes.

Instead of splurging on home decor that will go out of style or takeout meals that you’ll forget, invest in timeless pieces and quality experiences, from a monogrammed photo frame to an extravagant date night. “Opt for items that reflect the couple’s personal style and will be appreciated for years to come,” she says.