Dear parents, we love you, but please allow us to make our own mistakes.
This Father’s DayLet’s take a step back and reflect on the way we’ve been taught to be parents. Parenting, of course, is a beautiful journey, filled with joy and challenges. It is one of the most difficult responsibilities. It can be exhausting and frustrating at times, and at other times, deeply rewarding. However, the relationship between parent and child is not always black and white.
As children grow, they need a lot of space. Room to explore themselves, room to learn new skills, and room to even make mistakes. Because that’s part and parcel of growing up. However, as children grow, parentsit is difficult for them to let go.
The cushioning must be broken
While the protection provided by parents is comforting, it can sometimes limit a child’s exploration of his or her interests. This protection, which once provided comfort, can create fears and cause a child to prioritize his or her parents’ happiness over his or her own. This protective barrier needs to be broken so that a child can learn from his or her own mistakes. The role of a parent is to support their child in both good and bad times.
Let them make their own decisionsIn Desi society, many children end up following paths they don’t really want, often because of parental expectations. It is common to see children who want to study art but opt for the scientific branch because of their parents’ wishes. The fear of disappointing parents can prevent a child from expressing his or her true interests.
Parents need to recognize that their children are growing up and gaining their own experiences. It is important to respect their decisions, whether it is about their career path, the choice of a partner, or the decision not to marry altogether.
Don’t compare my life with yours
It is time for Indian parents to stop comparing their lives with that of their children. Many of us grew up hearing stories of how our parents had to cross rivers to reach school or study under street lamps. While we appreciate their hard work and the effort they put in to become who they are today, we want them to understand that times have changed. Modes of study, competition and career options are different now. Comparing the two experiences is no longer relevant and only restricts the child’s actions.
You don’t need to know everything
As times change, so does the generation gap between parents and children. Indian parents often find it difficult to understand this gap. They need to recognise that their children are no longer children; they are going through complex relationships and seeking more privacy. It is okay to provide this space for them. However, it is also important to ensure that parents provide a non-judgmental environment where the child feels comfortable talking to them when needed.
No child is perfect, and neither are their parents. Appreciation and acceptance of these imperfections are what make a family healthy. The key to healthy parenting is giving a child space to make mistakes and accepting these flaws without judgment, thus fostering their growth and understanding.
